You know how they always say that you will definitely become more mature when you go through National Service, like how the pride and passion of serving your nation rubs off on you and you become a better man? I mean I can't doubt that because I guess I learnt to talk less and probably listen more, as I discover that the ones that are perpetually silent are actually the ones who think the most. I mean, who doesn't like to speak? It's like a endeavour to make your thoughts heard as you tussle over who's the most vocal in a group. Anyway, I'm digressing here.

What I am trying to say is that however much I want my National Service experience to be fulfilling and totally worth that two year disadvantage it puts me at, I am seriously finding it hard to regard it so. The gradual complication of things, which makes a matter seem more complicated than it actually is. The incessant need to scavenge for a prominent scapegoat and not an actual solution when a problem surfaces. The over-dependence and abuse of the rank structure. The inability to place individuals in their fields of flair. The incompetence of the leader at the fore and his lackeys who serve only to his ridiculous wants. I can go on forever. 

Why go into the wee hours discussing a report when it can be done within office hours? Why fight so hard to reduce the punishment for a serviceman when he is just going to disappoint you again? Why put your neck onto the chopping block when the first scapegoat they find would be yourself? Why expend so much effort when they focus more on structure and results rather than plain logic? Trying so hard to look nice on paper as compared to effectiveness and productivity. The flaw is omnipresent. Yet the ones who can make a difference are resisting the need for change just because the previous methods are "tried and tested". The obvious cowards are the ones we rever due to their dubious climb to prominence.

However much I try, I am effectively not a long-stayer. I will do my part and leave. I won't even bother leaving a legacy, not because I can't, but because it's not worth it. I will look back at my NS experience and lament what could have been. The fact stays clear that the various accolades and achievements count for naught with incompetent chiefs at the fore, and the obvious actuality that we are simply not battle-tested. 

Friends. How valued yet fragile. Back then, we never thought that a friendship could end just like that. And no, it wasn't a happy break. However much we promised it would not be, it happened due to money. Somewhat. The gall to accuse us of backstabbing her when we were the ones whom she could rely on the most. We were accepting of her, for who she is. But she chose the road of no return. The friendship was meant to be mutual, yet she does not regard us so. True enough, she has her other circles of friends. True enough, she has her cousins for support. But I can safely say that no one will ever sacrifice for her as much as we do, or go the lengths we were prepared to go. We treated her well, and she chose to forsake our friendship. We were the ones who understood her predicament, could comprehend her actions, and accept her erratic eccentric behaviour. Her bad habits, her incessant traits, we overlooked them. And yet, she did not reciprocate. I am speechless. I truly am. 

I understand now. What they meant back then. How everything I go through now makes me question my passion, direction and diligence towards something that may never be permanent. In fact, what set me on this path? Why must I even subject myself to such disparity in treatment and defend those unworthy of my sympathy? Rank and appointment are arguably tangible, yet they represent a distinct and consecrated responsibility. Or set bluntly, a typical scapegoat. For the sake of pleasing your upper echelons of superiors, you endanger the morale and working attitude of your subordinates, killing their passion effectively and efficiently. I applaud your truly poor aptitude and appreciation of situation while remaining perfectly blasé to your own continuous erring actions. In this organisation where experience counts for nothing due to being amateur in war, I cannot express enough delight at the thought of leaving in opportune time.

I know I always start every post with a song that's stuck in my head, how typical you must be thinking. But who cares, here goes: This time round, it's Classic by MKTO.

"You over my head, I'm out of my mind,

Thinkin' I was born in the wrong time.

One of a kind, livin' in a world gone plastic.

Baby you're so classic."

How quick we have been living; in the blink of an eye and snap of the fingers, I have turned 22, commissioned as an officer, crossed the one year milestone of National Service and lost both my grandmas. It's so bittersweet thinking how fast time really flies when we are caught unaware, happy that our projected sufferings have come to an end, yet sad that we are all growing up so fast and unable to spend more time with our loved ones. 

Back in my cadet days, I long for the weekends because that was truly the only time I would be free to spend time with my family and friends. Seeing how we have grown apart as compared to the days of the past makes me really sad knowing that we can never go back or replicate those days anymore. This has and will be the gantry, the gate and the stage of our lives whereby we realise that the future will play out in such fashion from now on. Gone are the days of daily meals, lounging on the sofa simply watching the telly, impromptu meet-ups and good ol' chats. Meet ups have to be planned. Meals as well. We have become so busy because we have found new people, new calling, new priorities that we forsake the ones we have held dear all these while. This is not about playing the blame game, or accusing anyone of anything, but we slowly realise that we can never be able to go back to the classic days of old anymore.

Returning home after twenty days of less-than-gruelling training in the chilly environment of Southern Taiwan, I was not prepared for the heartbreaking news that long awaited me, even when I first dialled home on the 8th of May. I remember calling home that day due to a hiatus in between my summary exercises 1 and 2, all ready to spring my parents a surprise call after ten days of separation. The call went through smoothly, and I delivered all I had bottled up for the past week, not forgetting to wish my dad for his birthday, which coincidentally fell on that same day. Never did it occur to me how extraordinary it actually was that my entire family was available on the phone on a Thursday afternoon. Given the relative buzz of study and work, their schedules are practically full week in week out. In fact, they were actually carrying grandma's ashes out of the columbarium at the moment when my call came. I learnt that my aunt was frantically forbidding of my parents to break the news to me, given that my training would be thus disrupted. I have no idea if it was a coincidence or simply the work of heavens, that I had called right when the proceedings were coming to an end. 

Upon my arrival back to Singapore, my parents finally broke the news to me on the 18th of May, twelve days after her passing. She had finally succumbed to a long fight with renal failure and a case of hypertension. However prepared I was for this, I could not help it when tears welled up in my eyes. I could not accept the cold hard truth that grandma was gone for good. As I type on displaying a composed demeanour, I know I must stay strong because she wouldn't want us to grieve for too long. I could say that she was more prepared for this than anyone else. She must have had a nightmare of sorts because she stated that she did not want her ashes to be scattered into the sea for fear of being eaten by fishes. She even had a joint-fund ready much earlier because she knew that the funeral expenses were pretty steep, which came in handy when the time finally came. Her final place next to grandpa in Aljunied was already in process of development bar for the pictures because she had already prepared for her own when grandpa passed on more than twenty years ago. What else can we do but applaud the sheer strength and willpower she had, that pure heart that was never afraid of death, who took it all in her stride.

I know I will never really get over the loss of grandma, given that it is the first time I have lost someone so dear to me. And the exact coincidence that this had to happen when I was overseas, that I did not even have the chance to pay my last respects. How unfilial it was of me that I did not make time to visit her more often. Regret will always linger on in the back of my mind. The thousands and thousands of "what ifs" will always play back, coming back to haunt me everytime. What if I had just spent more time with her? What if I had made an effort to make her recognise me even with her senile dementia? What if we had given in to her requests to smoke, not knowing it would be her last? What if we didn't act like cowards and run off everytime she wanted a smoke and made a scene? 

Day 49 will then allow me to pay my last respects to her, whom I presume is in a better place now, without the pain, hurt or regret. She is finally back together with grandpa after being separated for all those years. She can finally smile in heaven now. The days of suffering are over. But I know I will miss her so much. The grandma who never fails to protect us from the unforgiving cane when we get naughty at times. The grandma who gets up so early to prepare our favourite lor bak when we visit on the weekends. The grandma who showers us with so much love until she contracted senile dementia. The grandma who never fails to "upsize" our red packets even when she does't have enough for herself. Thank you ma ma, for all that you are. You would have been ninety-seven this year. I love you and you will be dearly missed. Rest in peace. 

Mdm Lee Ker Teu
1917-2014

Although
death has separated us physically
Faith and love
have bound us eternally.
Though we cannot see you
We know you are here with us
in our every thought
as we think about you each day.
Though we cannot touch you
We feel the warmth of your smile
As we turn the page
to a new chapter in our lives.

One of the rare occasions I actually see her smile.

Taken on one of our visits with dad.

Here I am on a Sunday revelling in semi-freedom and indulging myself in chocolate and cookies. In three days' time, it would be the one year anniversary of our departure to the land of kimchi last year. How I have missed that carefree life of travelling with my cherished friends, exploring foreign lands and gorging myself on delectable foods of paradise. Although my freedom has been compromised in my cause of serving my nation, I will be leaving for Taiwan in exactly 23 days for Exercise Starlight. And after that, another 105 days later, my tenure in Officer Cadet School will conclude. That's the time when the identity under "protection" will end, and responsibility will be at its peak. 

My weekends have been more than typical. Friday nights will probably be spent with "The Antagonists", "Misfits" or "la parola piu bella" as it is known now. Forgive the weird namesakes as these are the Whatsapp group title for them. Saturdays are likely to be spent with "Free MILFS" (pardon the crude name). Caught Captain America: The Winter Soldier twice in two weeks and had Astons for three weekends running. Cannot maintain the fanboy-ism whenever I see that character in books or movies. And just as I'm typing this, the advert for the movie just came up on the telly, I kid you not. Met up with the favourites yesterday, and totally looking forward to River Safari on 19th April now. 

   

Okay pardon me now while I delude myself and mope about booking in in five hours. 

Now Playing: Let Her Go - Passenger

"Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep"

That ought to be the last straw. One stab, two stab and another stab. When will I ever learn? Why make things so complicated? It's plain for all to see but being the plain fool, I just deceived myself time and time again and allowed it to manifest. I will never ever get it into my thick skull that it was never going to happen. Starting from now, I want to be free. I don't want to be bogged down by this anymore. Faith will get me nowhere. Being loyal to one is plain stupidity when my one is never even mine in the first place. The stupid things I do, the stupid scenarios I imagine, and the stupid person I have become. Forgive me but everything simply reminds me of you and it is too painful for me to undertake anymore. I shall not text you on occasions such as Christmas, Valentine's Day or even your birthday any longer. I will not be so constantly concerned about your happiness anymore. I will not check on you and advise you to take care of yourself anymore. I will not tell you to take care of your gastric anymore. I will not worry about your motion sickness any longer. I will no longer remember your favourite salmon from Pepper Lunch. I will not remember your favourite Caribbean Way and Banana N Berry at Smoothie King. I will no longer remember the brand of your favourite Strawberry Yoghurt. I will not remember the places we could go for your sweet tooth. I will not picture Australia 2011 as the defining memory. I will not smile anymore whenever I receive your text message. I will not put thought into my messages to you anymore thus I hope I won't receive any messages from you from now on so that I can forget. I will not overthink your actions anymore. I will not read your every tweet anymore. I will not go to your profile on all social platforms anymore. I will not put your picture as my wallpaper anymore. I will stop regarding you as "perfect". I will forget how angelic you are. Piano and ballet are no more traits of that image. This is not the first time, but I am that stupid foolish person who never learns. I will forget. I must forget. I will start all over again. I know I will never remember someone so well and so deep anymore. But still, thank you for inflicting all these pain on me so that I realise how dumb, useless and stupid I had been all these while. Farewell, for the love that never was.     

Happy New Year.

Each word depicts a different exclusive annotation. 

Happy is subtle and objective. Why is happiness as such and not a given? We all want to be happy. And pursue happiness. But why do we instead compromise happiness in place for other beings or forms?

New is simple. Simplicity but altered unconditionally to what we term as a root of beginning. Do we forget the past and expect the future? It's the same every cycle, an arduous journey to give way to a future we want to see, and not led by naivety.

Year is a cycle. A preset period of hours, minutes and seconds we coin as a year. Why do we always create a fictitious gimmick to give rise to resolutions we always never seem to adhere by when they could be individually decided at any given time? 

Let these linger on every time you hear these three familiar words. 

Looks like my self-proclaimed philosophical side has surfaced after a hiatus.

Anyway, a quick update. I am still serving the nation, in my capacity as an officer cadet. Bound by regulations that I doubt anyone can fathom, elaboration is thus unnecessary. Having completed the service term and presented with the senior bar to mark the one-third milestone of my 9-month long journey, I have been posted to the Combat Services Support Command to further my training in the Logistics vocation. Looks like my days of chiong-sua(literally means conquering mountains) are over. Infantry was my best bet of being posted back to BMTC as a platoon commander, but as fate would not decree it, I have to be contented with my current placement so far. In addition, I believe that the in-depth planning experience I will undergo will definitely be beneficial in the long run as compared to combat tactics and platoon fighting. 

Chinese New Year, the long-awaited festival has finally come. Six days of freedom away from the cycle of regimentation and discipline is definitely going to make an impact on that ever-increasing weight and allowing me to attain cult status in the pig-related nicknames that have plagued me in recent years. But you know what, eating is in my blood. My grandpa was a duck seller back before I was born. Oh what I would give for a taste of his legendary tender teochew braised duck simmered in mouth-watering jus and exuding a heavenly aroma of herbs and spices, coupled with traditional white rice served in a clay pot. Nah enough of the incessant descriptions. 

Had a robust steamboat and teppanyaki home-cooked lunch with my family, with all members present. An uncommon sight nowadays given the busy schedules we all had. I shall spare you the apt descriptions and just have you know that my cholesterol level should be sky-high by now. Now I'm just waiting for the reunion dinner over at my uncle's. I will be back when I'm fat.   

It's All In The Mind.

Just as we always thought how moving into the next phase of life would foresee a change of elements, you can never comprehend what life hurls at you. School was full of tests, assessments, assignments and appraisals. Never knew how I could be facing that even when I'm serving the nation. Same old, same old. Was initially tasked to produce an essay titled "My Defining Moment in BMT" but being a self-proclaimed taichi master of the highest echelons, I managed to transfer my "qi", no responsibility, to another platoon mate. Like come on, he's from New Zealand. His accent alone is enough to blow the competition off the radar. 

Anyway, being the forlorn author of my autobiography, here's my version of my defining moment. You know how field camp is always referred to as the main highlight, crucial event and crux of our training? They have never been so right. It all started when we were supposed to march 12km to our field camp site. All hope was lost when we completed up to the 8km mark and the skies turned for the worst. Our hopes turned to despair when we were told that we would have to redo the entire distance again when we return. Never would we have known that was just the tip of the iceberg. Upon reaching the field camp site, our first task was to erect our tentage, something we have only attempted pathetically and failed miserably countless times. Furthermore, the ground conditions were atrocious, as our tent pins simply refused to be driven into a land full of rocks. However, the worst condition was that it was a slope we were on. When the torrential rains were upon us beginning on the second night, our belongings never stood a chance. The subsequent nights were just as absurd, with the intervals of threatening rain comparable to the pixels on this screen. On the fourth day, we barely accomplished 2 hours of sleep before the unforgiving waters from heaven irrigated into the shellscrapes we spent an entire day to create. Our days were filled with the hated task of putting on face camouflage, rolling in mud and having our uniforms caked in sludge. When even the dreaded heat rash came upon us, there was nothing the medic could do to relive us of the merciless imaginary needles stabbing us from behind. Every single movement simply gave rise to more discomfort, more aches and more pain. However, we all knew but were never prepared for what comes after: our parents' letters. Even the strongest of our lot could not hold back the tears, the homesickness, our duty towards the nation and our fathers' sacrifices for our nation and families. At the end of our situational assessment tests spanning two days, we couldn't control our happiness and jubilation when the our transport arrived. We were finally going home. It suddenly dawned on us that these days of misery were finally over. Going back to our company line, we would not even bat an eyelid to sit on the wet basketball court, or even lie down on it, because we know that we had it worse. All I could say was that those few days of seeming eternity had placed our views into a whole new  lens of perspective, allowing us to realise that we must never take all the things we relied on and depended on for granted ever again. And the only way we prevent that is by sustaining our sovereignty and taking our nation's defence in our own hands.           

Never thought the day would come, or at least, so quickly, but here goes: It's Countdown 30 days to POP! Cue dramatic fireworks and merrymaking. The truth is, I have already initiated the next phase of my life by enlisting in the army. Although it may seem as a drag and all, having lesser time to spend with your loved ones, adhering to a strict rule of regimentation and discipline, and most of all being somehow coerced into serving the nation at a time where we were living in pure freedom. In all fairness, I have to admit I was and still is a complainer of sorts. The security and welfare of the people we interact with everywhere is brought about only by preserving the sovereignty of our nation.

After going through what could arguably be said as the most gruelling six days of my life, the words of my Platoon Commander really struck me hard. The fact that he's only 20 but displaying the maturity and critical thinking of an age miles ahead of him really earned my respect. Roughly quoted: Our father's were put through far more arduous and fatigue-inducing training regimes back in the days where army welfare was almost unheard of. Still, he fulfilled the duty in order to protect the nation and ultimately protect his family. Now that the baton has been passed to us, what gives us the right to forsake the cause that they had been fighting for all along, just because the going gets tough? Take it as a duty, a responsibility. Do it for your family, even if not for the nation. Your mindset, thinking and maturity grows with time, but fitness is something you are imbued with, and have the liberty to correct. Imagine a scenario whereby your mother's handbag gets snatched by a robber. Will you chase down that insolent "f***er" and beat the living daylights out of him? Do you even possess the ability to chase him down? Do it for your loved ones and yourself. Think of family and yourself, if not your nation. It's your duty as a son, a brother, a role model. Make your son proud of you in future by fulfilling your duty as a dad. Will you want him to give up as easily as yourself? What right do you have to encourage him and give him strength when you did not even give it your all when your opportunity arose?

Graduation trips have always been envied, anticipated, dear yet memorable. The relating adjectives run free, seeing no end. After the two escapades to Taiwan and Korea, I realised that it was not the destination, but the company that really matters. We may not see eye to eye most of the time, but our rash actions and harsh words give way to fitting reconciliatory actions that only bring us closer. As expected, these experiences are not simply for fun, as loosely described, but also serves a rare platform to understand; yet accept the habits and mannerisms of peers you hold close to your heart. This unique bunch have and always will play a substantial part towards moulding our shared vision and dreams of the future. Our memories are embodied in both pictorial and mental forms, thus feel free to recollect on the relevant social media to evoke the good old times. Thank you, my lovely tomatoes. 

The day of ultimate blitz and glamour, led by the theme of La Cosa Nostra, the epitome of Sicilian mafia encompassing the atmosphere of the splendid night. Everyone could not help but appear in their stellar outfits to grace the occassion. We booked a room at Furuma Riverfront hotel to ease preparations and offer ample rest without compromising and sacrificing transport woes. Dinner at  Marriott was BELOW average, absolutely not a meal to be associated with a hotel of such stature. The night's programme was so-so, but the real party only started after "dismissal", where everyone bid tearful goodbyes and captured pictorial memories. Nah, it was more of a joyful affair than that in actual fact. 

Camwhoring in the hotel's toilet dressed to the nines, albeit sherri's yoga dress.

As if we were going for a wedding.

The indispensable dependable guy, missing the third titanium brother.

My clubby colleague. "Clubby", not "chubby".

With joanically. Was that meant to be an adjective?

With xiao tian tian, who looks even more like a stick beside me.

Vampirish me and baechiki.

Not-so-vampirish me and baechiki.

The one who attended to do yoga.

With the boony boon boon. 

The guy with the massive ego who likes to think otherwise.

With the Big-Bird™.

Awkward faces, pretty Asian-like considering the lighting.

My 6th year knowing this extremely "impunctual" bimbo.

The one well-versed in the poisoned art of words.

With the sassy oriental bells.

With the chiangmai tomyum girl who look so unwilling for the picture.

Brown shoes for the win!

A picture paints a thousand works blah...blah...blah...I'm just lazy to spam words so here you go: A brief of photographs that hopefully will prevent you having striped vision after reading the post. Disclaimer: Please do not sue if you still experience the above-mentioned symptom. The following may not be in chronological order so please do not flame me as well. 

The Garfield Tuna's 20th bash!

Pretty much encompasses the "O$P$" concept.

Huh?!

Our very first "yusheng-tossing" ceremony.

The 21st of the man with the once-spiteful words.

My very first clubbing experience. To be honest, I didn't like it and look, Zirca's gone.

Adventure at Adventure Cove. Welcome back, sunburnt skin!

Sharing food because the prices are steepingly astronomical.

Dinner at King Louis: Certified half-filled stomach.

Chillin' at Harry's after the dreaded internship was over! Many more unglamorous pictures but shall spare you guys the misery.

Our official chauffeur's birthday! Success!

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need some food~.

Woke up at 7am and wondered why the sky was still so dark. Fell back to sleep only to wake up at noon. Saw my brother in the room and I asked him what time it was. He said :" Now already 12pm." I couldn't believe it and just answered :"You siao ah? Where got so late?" Aaaaaaaand the next thing I know, I woke up at 1230pm. Must be the bizshield I played yesterday after laying off soccer for more than half a year. No idea why I can play basketball for hours but fall down like a dead battery after playing soccer for 10mins. Browsed 9gag in the school library to waste 2 hours before the start of my interview. And the dreaded interview turned out to be so simple. Mr P started out by asking why do I always perspire so much, what am I planning to do after graduation, blah blah blah. The actual interview lasted 5mins consisting of approximately 5 questions. I think these are sympathy marks given to let us pass, so as not to see our faces again next year.

Reached home and started fiddling with gadgets because my brother got a new phone, so he passed his former phone to my dad. And my dad couldn't stop playing with his newfound favourite app- whatsapp so he kept sending us random hokkien verses like "ho boho?" and other random words that I couldn't comprehend. And the text window kept appearing at the bottom of my screen when I was watching Running Man. I found that a tad annoying so I sent him a picture of a koala to pacify him. My dad loves koalas.

Stayed over at zhiqi's house on Saturday to make it more convenient to go to jocelyn's birthday venue. Ordered pizza and I think I gobbled 8 slices throughout the night. Sorry guys, I am really hungry. And that's just the commencement of my eating escapade. Her house is simply an absolute haven of CNY goodies and you could guess what happened next. Pineapple tarts, chilli prawn rolls, cashew nuts etc. started disappearing from the table and reappearing in my stomach. And it was all fun and games until the greatest incident of the night happened. Mich accidentally locked zhiqi's room door when her keys were inside. Suddenly we were all Engineering students and step-master thiefs. Pins, hammers, spanners and pliers were all used in an attempt to open the door. Weichong even went on youtube to learn how to pick a lock. However, it was all in vain as we resorted to removing the doorknob. Imagine all the loud hitting sounds generated at 3am in the morning. It still makes me wonder why none of the neighbours complained that night. Zhiqi should just scare them and say no one was home that night. Played the ukelele and monopoly deal until we were all drained and one by one we drifted into dreamland at 6am. Woke up at 12 noon and as usual, I started eating again. Went to change and stoned on the sofa. I also learnt that my hair is always only in two states. It's either an unattended garden or a strawberry. Went over to jocelyn's birthday venue at Serangoon Country Club, ate again, two full plates this time, and lots of dessert. The night's events were pretty cool, with a magic show and serenading, among others. Requested for balloon swords and we all started becoming kids again.

Back to current time and day. Really want to pass napfa but lost the will to practise running. Still lazing in bed as a result.

Shower of Tears - Baechigi ft. Jiwon (SPICA)

Awesome beat to the tune. Love the dreamy image of Jiwon as well.

In the end, I gave up. Not one to, but yes I did. Maybe it's stupid, maybe it's for the better. I didn't put in any effort, not because I didn't, but because I can't. It's time to turn the page and not live in self-delusion any longer. Yes I'm blabbering nonsense.

Insane days ahead. How unfair can it be to celebrate CNY, train for napfa and complete the research paper simultaneously? But I'm not complaining because almost everyone is in the same predicament. Going for a run tomorrow morning in school, hopefully I can clock under 12 minutes for my 2.4km run, since the last time I ran during secondary 4.

Work hard everyone, our freedom is near!

Went for a run and had stitches after running for 50 metres. But still managed to run to tampines and back. Scaled 13 storeys in 66 seconds. What happened to my 56 seconds?

And C.N Blue's back!
Can't stop listening to "More Than You" and "I'm Sorry".

Feeling a little studious today, starting portfolio and all.

Now Playing: 明明就 - 周杰倫

明明就他比較溫柔　也許他能給你更多
不用抉擇　我會自動變朋友

How meaningful of the lyrics.

I am sorry I am not as diligent as the others to come up with a definitive post commemorating the transition into the new year. I can blame everyone and anything, ranging from my wretched work schedule to my constant lack of personal time, but I think we all know that the most obvious reason is that I am just plain lazy. Although I wasn't able to spend my Christmas and New Year with my all loved ones due to my lousy schedule, I am glad it didn't turn out as bad as expected. I felt an immense sense of loneliness while exiting the hotel and seeing everyone having fun and celebrating the new year meaningfully while I was like a plain loser who could only be free at 2am and chasing after lost time. 

Had a short classroom session in school on Saturday, the last of which we will ever have as we are nearing the end of our internship! The entire morning of work yesterday was spent moping around as I was lacking spirit or any mood to speak of. The session in school allowed me to realise how much I miss having all my friends around, even if it is for the simple activities of having a meal or simply chatting. Really can't wait for the fun that awaits in Taiwan, Korea and probably Genting. 

Having mixed feelings about school reopening on 28th because it would mean meeting all my friends again, but could also signal a dreadful countdown to the day when we lose the definite opportunity to meet in school ever again. 

Aching like crazy all over after playing basketball again after laying off for almost a month. How can I expect to get fit for Napfa when my only available recreation time is once a month? Making me boil that we interns are never the first priority, taking the hits such as switching from afternoon to morning shift and vice versa consecutively back and forth.  On a lighter note, it's only 54 days to the end of internship! Freedom will come, and it will be sweet. This internship stint has allowed me to narrow down my career choices in future. Although it is my industry of interest, I'm not willing to commit to the uncertainties that come along with it. Shall make the decision when the time is ripe. There's still 2 years of pondering during NS anyway. Really can't wait for the trips to taiwan and korea. Okay no feel or inspiration to continue anymore.

Picture of the night: Ajumma hot-spring fashion!

"Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be this hard."

This line from Coldplay's "The Scientist" explains it all. Finally, barely surviving, I battled on and achieved my rest day at long last. And what better to ruin this perfect day attributed towards relaxation and leisure than the odds-defying bane of the drill. Ad what better could I do but lament my gradual personification of Bad Luck Brian?

Was polishing a white wine glass yesterday but in a moment of superhuman strength and clumsiness, the stem broke right off and sliced a gash just below my fourth finger. Alas, the blood flowed like the Niagara Falls, not showing any signs of stopping even after exerting pressure on it. After a hard-fought war with my gaping wound, I managed to plaster it, with an approximate casualty blood loss of 10ml. 

Now for the positives. Departure flight to Taiwan has been confirmed, heralding my maiden outward voyage without parental guidance, forsaking my dependence on the guardians of my life. Marching on to March.

"Plans are merely ideas, action takes the situation forward."

The ultimate feeling of fatigue and lethargy struck me this morning. Could see my lips turning pale and I could only read documents one word at a time. Not to forget the extreme hunger pangs. When I was released for breaktime, I wolfed down my entire tray of food in less than 10 minutes.

Cannot believe that I'm deprived of meeting my fellow slaves again this week. And my weekly basketball sessions have been starkly reduced to monthly. Here are just some pictures I am uploading from my itouch.

I think I'm getting the "weichong syndrome".

This picture was overdue from the last slave meeting. New korean popstar group debuting on Music Bank this Friday! D.R.Y!

And our dear wesley has gotten his driving license! Which means more impromptu supper sessions! Blasting songs while on the road simply like a bunch of douches. Not to forget the jam-brakes that catapulted us off our seats. In a span of five hours, I gobbled two hamburgers and one lemongrass dessert at tampines, one chicken rice set and cup walker at ehub, and a plate of seafood noodles at simpang. The possibilities with easy transport!

Now Playing: I Didn't Know About Love (사랑밖에 난 몰라) - BTOB

Feeling so foreign navigating the interface as the last post was exactly two weeks ago. In a flash, six weeks has already passed. Fatigue and "sleep lag" has already begun to set in. "Celebrated" my parents 23rd wedding anniversary today. Inverted commas because it wasn't really much of a celebration, simply a simple dinner at Ssikkek Korean BBQ at Novena. Embarked on the arduous and sleep-inducing bus journey back home since we decided not to become sardines on the train.

I think hairdressers or rather barbers have something against me. Even if I instruct them not to make me look as if I have already started serving the nation, they still do it nonetheless. Thus, I lose approximately one kilogram of my hair and possibly much more of my ego. Could probably fit through my front door now. Anticipation turned to disappointment as I was denied basketball for three weeks and counting due to the merciless family of Thor. The unforgiving rain pelted down, akin to hailstones which pierced any lingering hopes of shooting hoops this week. *sigh* That long-awaited dunk would have to make a backseat for now.  

Caught "Sinister" at the theatres today. The plot was rather intriguing, supported by brilliant visual and sound effects. But the movie in its entirety was let down by the cliche out-of-the-book ending, with no solution to the case whatsoever. Offers a pretty great scare though.

Back to the endless cyclical routine of work tomorrow to face the harsh pathetic reality of the working life. But take heart in the fact that the upcoming classroom session signals the halfway milestone of this nightmare.

I must go now. My planet needs me.

Time: 1:46am

Awake as I lay on my bed with my eyes wide open. Can't fall asleep even after such an intense night of basketball. My body is weary but yet my mind is sober in its entirety. What a rebel.

I am shrinking. Everything and everyone seems so imposing now that I have become smaller, like a shirt straight out of the washer. Internship is the main culprit, jeopardising my sleep routine and exercise routine. Having shifts at 6am means I have to turn in practically at 8pm to clock in my 8 hours of sleep. And when I return home at 5pm, I would sleep all the way till the next morning and the cycle repeats. Which means I skip dinner every night. But considering the monstrous portions of breakfast and lunch I devour, the "shrinking" part still remains a mystery.

It really feels good to be appreciated. But this time, the recipients can be said to be highly appreciative. Although the rigours of the hospitality industry can be said to be thankless, it is all in the name of service. Although I didn't really do much, this family of six wrote a personal letter to me and another to the GM. To be honest, I was really shocked when he told me that. And guess what, along with the personal letter was a crisp $50 note enclosed. How generous. The sad thing is how this tip appears really significant as it represents 10% of my monthly allowance.

Three weeks into the real working life and I abhor it. Waking up at ungodly hours and feeling lethargic and fatigued every moment of the day is never a good feeling. We have been warned of how the working life could be so deceiving, but yet we always hated school. Don't we all regret that now?

Too busy and feeling too lethargically drained(Is there even such a word?) to even get up in the mornings nowadays. When I open my eyes at 4am at dawn, it's literally akin to looking into the Sun directly. Alas! What has happened to my mantra of sleeping and waking up early? Work aka internship is so damaging to my feet that I have super-large blisters that threaten to burst any opportune moment. Or inopportune actually. Getting the hang of sleeping at 6pm when I get back from work everyday, even skipping dinner, which is considered a high-priority activity on my list of pastimes. The funny thing is that even with the monstrous tray of food on my lunch tray and a non-stop routine of gobbling and guzzling at the lounge, I am still shrinking. Probably de-evolving perhaps. My only motivating factor is the meet-ups once every week(hopefully?). Still unable to stick to my pre-determined planned exercise regime of at least one recreational activity per week. Okay time to visit lala land in view of the 6am shift tomorrow as usual.

The last few days have been a rollercoaster ride, which ended at an all-time peak, with me falling sick. With the ever-irritating sore throat and flu plaguing my worrisome and pathetic resistance of my health, it was no wonder that it succumbed to sickness. Nevertheless, with a constant dose of tortilla chips with nacho cheese, and the barbecued chicken pizza from Pizza Hut earlier this morning, the current state of my health can be said to be deteriorating. Food > Health. What can you do when your home is stockpiled like a supermarket, with differing variations of crackers and chips, along with a full shelf of ice-cream waiting in the refrigerator?

Forgot to mention the two-day event I participated on 8th and 9th September. It involves the usual event logistics and set-up, except that this time it is on a ship docked on international waters. Ignore those stereotypes that mention that food on a ship is tasteless and bland. Every meal period onboard brings different variety of hot food items, along with the heap of bread and not-so-soft rolls that I gathered on these hunger escapades. There was even an soft-serve ice-cream machine! The work onboard could be backbreaking at times, but it was all well-worth the effort. Most of the time were simply spent on sleeping and eating actually. S$350 for less than 2 days of work, along with a complimentary taxi ride back home was lucrative at its best. 

Bob the Builder in the making.

On the 11th of September came the time when the Chinese flower crab turned 20 at long last. Although I played no part in the total "event" logistics and planning, I am glad it turned out okay. Not great but okay only. Because we all had to return home at such an early time. Had dinner at Wild Oats at Punggol. Despite the recommendations and revelations of this place, the food was simply disappointing, with pathetic serving portions that just does not justify the prices. It's like Astons at double the price. Hail Astons! For the second time this year, the Fried Penguins™ were able to join us again, although only two were able to turn up due to some major hiccups. *cough cough*

And at the twitch of an eye, I have arrived at the 8th day of my internship. Although it takes a great deal of memory work, which I lack at the current moment in time, I am relieved that it is all going along fine. An ultra-efficient memory is needed to remember guest names and table occupied, buffet item layouts for three different meal periods, the various procedures and layout presentations. My goldfish memory just isn't up to standard. The utterly dismal staff meals at the canteen is not much of a help either. I think I can whip up better meals with my eyes closed. Seriously speaking. And there's just this lingering thought that emerges in my head. As service providers for hospitality commercial businesses targeting the lucrative business and luxury market, I cannot understand why employees are paid such pathetic wages compared to other industries. I know that the current industry standard is set so as to comply and maintain the uniformity of the hospitality business, which in layman terms refers to not "spoiling the market". It is thus no wonder so many industry professionals decide to take the leap of faith and cross over to another sector. Food for thought.