Don't you find it ironic? The education system is totally focused on money! For them it is, in this case. We pay for school fees when we don't even feel like going to school, for courses we take but are really forced to, school events which we don't actually give a damn for, and exams which we absolutely abhor. The last thing we actually need is to pay for appeals of our exam results, or what they call a review of the exam script. In secondary school and poly alike, we are paying $100+ for the examiners/markers to re-mark our papers. This is, to them, considered a contest of their dignity and trustworthiness. However, all we are asking is that we be allowed to "re-see" our exam scripts and discover errors in marking by ourselves. Along the way, we may even learn what we have done wrong. However, the current practice is that students are not even allowed to look at their scripts anymore, after having handed it in. Is this fair? Firstly, we would not even know if there were marking errors, or bias on the markers' part. And we are not even entitled to review our OWN scripts, instead we have to pay to do that. Doesn't that sound like a joke? For goodness sake, it's our own scripts and we have to pay? And it is no small sum by the way. Total mockery of the system nowadays. I should be the education minister one day. Don't forget to vote for me!

Are people able to access this blog by clicking on my profile? I guess so. But no one makes the effort to. I am very tired. But I can't get to sleep. I am actually working for the money. I really hate working. It's really tough. But I shall take it as a phase of life, and reap the rewards at the end. Go for it Raymond!!

Why do some people just have to act all emotional and sad on social networking sites? I find it quite an irony. Cause you are going on and on about how much of a loser or how "apathetic" you are, think again. Will an "emo" person really interact with his social circle in such a way? This is what I actually call a play for sympathy. You just want people to comfort you and say all those nice things so that you will feel better? I don't feel that's the case. You just want people to show you concern, out of nothing at all. That I feel, is totally cheap. No one wants to know how much of a loser you are. Cause we all already know.

What have I been doing to my life? Especially my poly life. Somehow I get the feeling that I have been letting go of opportunities and chances to improve my social life. All around, I see people tweeting and saying on facebook that they are having so much fun with their friends, yet what am I doing here? Cooped up at home, my only companion is my trusty laptop which I hope will not end up becoming "unworkable" like the desktop. If that happens, I really have no idea what I will do. My laptop has become my closest friend, the only avenue to the pathetic social life I have out there. Sometimes I wonder if my friends really treat me like a friend. Or am I just there to make up the numbers? Loneliness is soon becoming such an understatement. This feeling is horrible. But there's nothing I can do. But endlessly wait for that one person to understand. Just one.

Realm of loneliness day number: Uncountable.

Went to Novena today. It was boring. Three shopping malls. Zero entertainment. Except the food. The ddukbboki rice cakes or however you spell that at SeoulYummy at Square 2 was great. Or I should say exceptional. Man we bought kimchi and spiced anchovies. Good pairings with korean sticky rice. Now I am waiting for my mum to cook shredded chicken ramen. Salivating at the thought of it.

Coming to think of it. I just changed the "permissions" of this blog to "Everybody". Meaning everyone can read it. I just need someone caring enough to find out about this blog and ask if anything is wrong. But I highly doubt so. Because I did not include my name. So even if you read this blog, do leave a comment in the comment box. I would highly appreciate it.

Why am I even bottling everything up? I am not as hardy as everyone thinks I am. Sometimes I really feel like letting it all out. All along, I am having a mask on. Nobody ever asks or even gives a damn. No one knows me well enough. Absolutely no one. And I guess no one even cares to try. All I want is one true friend whom I can depend on. I once had. But what she did, I will never be able to forgive her totally. Whenever people see me sitting alone, they will never approach me to ask what is wrong. And that is painful. But I don't blame them.

Birthdays are another source of hurt. Whenever birthdays come about, I feel a sense of pain deep inside. When I see people receiving presents, deep down inside it really hurts. Call me materialistic all you want, but the truth is that I just want something usable to remember that day by. A birthday card is hardly portable. I may seem ungrateful of sorts but somehow it really feels like my birthday was somehow considered "cheap" and relatively unimportant. And believe me, it really hurts like crazy.