What have I been doing to my life? Especially my poly life. Somehow I get the feeling that I have been letting go of opportunities and chances to improve my social life. All around, I see people tweeting and saying on facebook that they are having so much fun with their friends, yet what am I doing here? Cooped up at home, my only companion is my trusty laptop which I hope will not end up becoming "unworkable" like the desktop. If that happens, I really have no idea what I will do. My laptop has become my closest friend, the only avenue to the pathetic social life I have out there. Sometimes I wonder if my friends really treat me like a friend. Or am I just there to make up the numbers? Loneliness is soon becoming such an understatement. This feeling is horrible. But there's nothing I can do. But endlessly wait for that one person to understand. Just one.