Why am I even bottling everything up? I am not as hardy as everyone thinks I am. Sometimes I really feel like letting it all out. All along, I am having a mask on. Nobody ever asks or even gives a damn. No one knows me well enough. Absolutely no one. And I guess no one even cares to try. All I want is one true friend whom I can depend on. I once had. But what she did, I will never be able to forgive her totally. Whenever people see me sitting alone, they will never approach me to ask what is wrong. And that is painful. But I don't blame them.

Birthdays are another source of hurt. Whenever birthdays come about, I feel a sense of pain deep inside. When I see people receiving presents, deep down inside it really hurts. Call me materialistic all you want, but the truth is that I just want something usable to remember that day by. A birthday card is hardly portable. I may seem ungrateful of sorts but somehow it really feels like my birthday was somehow considered "cheap" and relatively unimportant. And believe me, it really hurts like crazy.