So how did it all begin? This is a question I can never give a specific answer to. Nor could I be certain that my interpretation of things ever happened the way I remember it to be. All I recall was the persistent feeling of nervousness and the tsunami of endorphins engulfing my simple mind, even till today. 

I admit that I kinda had a list of qualities that I envisioned my ideal girl to be. And how religiously I aligned with this set of attributes to no avail. Never in my wildest dreams would it ever occur to me that these qualities ultimately counted for naught when she finally appeared before me, shining in her thousand magnificent ways. 

That loving gaze that still makes my heart skip a beat (which is dangerous considering my condition). That angelic voice that isn't afraid to tell me that she loves me (unlike Archie and Veronica who faced a conundrum because of that). That mini frown she does when she finds out that I have been teasing her again (which is often accompanied by that little pout she does, one of few things capable of melting my icy heart). That her fingers when entwined in mine, fit perfectly as though they were bespoke. The way my chin rests directly on the top of her head like a custom-made headrest. 

The times she made me fall for her all over again, like the very first time. How no amount of heart emoticons can describe my feelings for her. Being contented dating at MBS playing Pokemon Go and running my hardest for those rare ones, knowing how happy she would be if I caught them for her. Spending our Saturdays and Sundays simply talking, sleeping in/napping and watching shows but acknowledging those as the best way to spend the weekends.

How I could entirely be in the vein of my true immature self in front of her without fear of judgement. And especially when she braved fatigue to stay by my bedside during my darkest days at the hospital, constantly reassuring me that things are gonna be alright and that she will be with me every step of the way. The subsequent tears I fought back, contemplating how my illness could potentially change everything we both had envisioned for the future. When I expected things to change, they did. But she didn't. I knew then and there, that she's the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

It started during BMT. Wes and I both belonged to the same platoon so we booked in and out of Tekong together on the weekends. Sab was there sometimes, to send him off or pick him up. But it was only during the times that she wasn't there that I felt empty. Strangely enough, I found myself looking around for her, wondering if I'd at least get to catch a glance of her before we departed. And when she finally appeared, a little spark of happiness erupted within me. Back then, I could not fathom why I felt that way since I had previously known her from our secondary school days. And I didn't feel anything back then.

One of my fondest memories involved our first meaningful interaction during the post-field camp bookout. Wes and I were both charred black from our days frolicking in the soil and sun. And as we were exiting Pasir Ris MRT station, Sab saw us both but chose to make conversation with me first, commenting about how dark I had become. I wondered why her first instinct wasn't to speak to her brother, but to me. Or maybe it was really just overthinking on my part then.

Subsequently, Wes and I were assigned to different units after passing out and I didn't get to see Sab as regularly as before, unless I visited. (It's still funny how I refer it to Sab's house now, after years of labeling it Wes' house). And then came news of Wes getting attached. Being inquisitive like Curious, I just had to kaypoh. It started off with a tweet, then moved to twitter DMs, then whatsapp texts. (Yes you could say I slid into her DMs. Or did she slide into mine?)

I remember my heart pounding like crazy as we continued conversing via twitter DM while restricted by the 140-character limit. I still remember the circumstances vividly. I had just ended duty and was waiting for the bus home. I couldn't sleep the night before, but I was far from sleepy. Because I was delirious.

The way I obtained her number two days later must also have been the daftest thing ever.

The first date didn't involve anything too fancy. We started off with lunch at Platypus (I think I still have the receipt but it's faded af) and a movie (something about Vlad the Impaler). The subsequent scene in the theatre is forever etched in my mind. As the lights had went out, I asked if she wanted to hold my hand as I was afraid she would miss a step and fall. I hadn't thought much of it then, but she probably thought of it differently. Because she responded with "Are you serious?" It didn't occur to me at that point that I was asking to hold hands right from the first date. I also don't really remember this, but I was walking ahead of her throughout that day, and not beside. Silly me hadn't realized how fast my usual walking speed was compared to hers, and how hard she was struggling to keep up. These are the things I never notice.

Things moved quicker than expected from the first date. No one would have expected a stable relationship to blossom from a dating phase of merely twelve days. But miraculously, it somehow happened. After more than three years, I still gaze fondly at her sometimes, thinking how lucky I am to have her.

The year 2016 also heralded the introduction of little Curious into our lives, bringing us even closer together, held constant by our absolute affection for that adorable critter. Our fondness for Curious is evident by the crazy amount of photos and videos of her saved on our devices and cloud storage. I think we have more photos of Curious than of Sab and I combined throughout our entire relationship! During CNY last year, she was afflicted with a bacterial infection and started shedding fur. We were both worried sick because seeing her lose her silky mane of fur thoroughly broke our hearts. And just 4 weeks ago, she developed a lump under her right arm, which again caused us many sleepless nights. Luckily, it was just an accumulation of fat and nothing serious. The fact that the veterinary costs combined could have covered the cost of a dozen other hamsters just goes to show the special place Curious will always occupy in our hearts.

Anyway, I had entertained the thought of taking the next step with Sab countless times over the course of our relationship. And while thinking of the perfect date to do so, I accidentally put her on high alert. This was what happened:

We got together on 17th October 2014.  Thus, I had planned for that special day to fall on 17x17.17 (17 x 17 = 289 = 28 September 2017). Being the constant forgetful worrywart, I stupidly keyed that date into my calendar as a reminder. And the best part is that I named the title of this reminder with the emoticon of a ring. Subsequently, while I was scrolling through my weekly schedule, she saw it. I had no choice but to alter the date. And since she would be expecting something if that date went by, I decided to bring the date forward instead.

Luckily for me, these things only happen once in a lifetime. Because I simply cannot sustain another heart attack like this ever again. In the end, I re-planned for it to fall on our 1017th day, which was 29 July 2017.

First and foremost, I needed the blessings of her family. And since I had known Wes for a decade, I assumed it would be good to start off with him. I met him for dinner and we wandered around aimlessly after that. Finally, I addressed the purpose of that meet up subtly, along the line of: "Wes, you know ah.... Your sister and I quite long already right... Somemore both of us working already... Then hor... I was thinking whether we should take the next step lor..." I could see a slight grin on his face because he kind of understood what I was getting at, even without me saying the exact words. I couldn't bring myself to broach the subject blatantly. Luckily for me, he spared me the blushes.

Secondly, I arranged to have dinner with Sab's parents. After the experience of the first round, I was more confident and I told myself that this time, I would address the topic directly. Initially, her mum thought I had planned to meet them to tell them about Sab's difficulties at work. But I actually took a different approach. I can't remember for sure how I had negotiated the topic, but I ended up showing them designs of the ring I had in mind. I guess that means yes?

I enlisted Wes and Ense's assistance to help me with the planning and execution for this day. Actually, I was unsure if Sab would have wanted it to be a grand affair, or a toned down memory for just a few close ones. Anyway, since I wouldn't want it to be over the top, I decided to make it fairly low-profile. (At least lesser people will know in case it doesn't go so well!)

I was secretly proud and happy at how the ring turned out. Sab stubbornly refused to accompany me to select the design despite my best efforts, so I had to make the trip down myself not once but three times. But because she chose not to, the final design of the ring would still be a surprise until that day. Especially the R and S details on the ring that she didn't know about.

Leading up to the day, I was getting pretty excited. On the morning of the proposal, it felt more like an errand day. Because we had to pick up the balloons and flowers then head over to the hotel to check-in and decorate. It didn't help that the hotel staff weren't helpful at all and didn't want to comp me an early check-in. In addition, they were also unwilling to guarantee us a bay view. Not quite the way I wanted things to play out, but the show must still go on. Luckily for me, Wes and Ense were with me throughout the day, helping me with the decor and ferrying me to obtain what I needed. I'm eternally grateful to them both :))))

Once we were done with the decor, Wes fetched me back to his place while Ense stayed behind in the room to ensure the lights and camera were functioning well. I headed up first and Wes followed about 10 minutes later, so as not to raise any suspicion. Shortly after, Wes and his parents drove to the hotel to wait out at the hotel lobby, with Sab still busy getting ready in her room, thinking that it was just a normal weekend out playing PoGo.

As we slowly made our way to town, I was constantly texting Ense our location, so that she would have ample time to set up the room just before we reached. I was secretly afraid that Sab would sneak a peek at my phone but I tried to hide it. Sab and I decided to have Sakae Teppanyaki for dinner, so I was pretending to locate the restaurant while searching for the elusive side door of the hotel. As usual, my navigational skills failed me big time. I actually went past the side door without realizing it and had to take the escalator up again before locating it the second time round. At this point of time, Sab was already getting a little frustrated because she was hungry.

On the pretence of looking for a good place to view the fireworks (It was NDP Preview Day 2), I brought her into the hotel lobby, told her to trust me and led her into the hotel lift. I stealthily scanned the lift card hidden in my hand. My heart was pumping like crazy because I was certain she had already caught on to what was happening. On the 9th floor, I exited the lift and Sab was still giving me a really puzzled look. I led her to the room door, took a deep breath, inserted the card key and swung the door open. I couldn't really recall the next few moments, because my brain was a little fuzzy with both excitement and anticipation. It was then, that her tears started to fall.

Along to the tune of Ed Sheeran's "Perfect" against the backdrop of the photo slideshow playing on the telly, I led her in, while she tried to comprehend the situation unfolding right in front of her. All the lines I had practiced for abandoned me in that instant, leaving me tongue-tied. On hindsight, I really should have either rehearsed or prepared more :/ I vaguely remember pulling out the ring from my back pocket and going down on one knee. My hands were practically shaking so hard that I needed both hands just to hold the ring steady. 

As I uttered the words "Will you marry me?", I could see her tear-stained face and in that instant, I knew how much I wanted this. Although I had planned for this day for the longest time, nothing could prepare me for the happy tears that rolled down my cheeks as she nodded and said the words I had been waiting to hear: "Of course!". The hug that ensued will stay a vivid recollection for us both, as it involved a whole lot of muffled sniffling and tear-stained smiles all around.

We are officially engaged!